Live in the blur to reach your potential. Life is not black and white. And life is more than fifty shades of grey. When you take a dichotomous world view you begin to suffer the consequences of such a rigid outlook. Alternatively, you will find freedom in the flexibility offered by living in the blur.
The blur is where there is no demarcation of who is right or wrong, or who is more successful and therefore happier than the other. The blur is where you can interpret events and outcomes such that they empower you. In the blur, you can take a view that people and situations aren't conspiring against you. Rather, they are merely playing their roles in order for you to reach your potential. In other words, they are helping you become the hero in your life story. Spirituality exists in the blur as does the light of your highest potential. Only suffering exists in the dark world of absolute thinking.
Socrates said, "The more I learn, the less I realise I know." This is very wise counsel. You see, it's easier to hold rigid opinions when you know very little and from a station of limited knowledge. For example, have you ever judged someone critically on a behaviour only to later find out that their actions resulted from a difficult history? Did your judgement almost immediately diminish whilst a sense of shame increased? Socrates had enough experience to realise that there is just too many variables surrounding people and the world they live in to be all-knowing and all-seeing.
The philosophy of "with me or against me" is an outdated, erroneous and harmful one. However, you can adopt a more all-embracing view by asking "What's the side of this situation that I am not seeing?" In other words, you are seeking the other possibilities that are not apparent but are present when you dig deeper. This takes a warrior's heart. It requires a courageous approach because in that moment you are suspending your sense of self for an unknown answer. Rest assured you wont lose who you are. Rather, you will only tap the greater potential that is who you truly are.
In conclusion, if you are looking to have more happiness and freedom look no further. Start right where you are by embracing the blur. It has been said that there are 3 sides of any story. Yours. Theirs. And the truth. The blur is where truth resides. We do live in a world of polarity. One of night and day, life and death, rich and poor, and so on. But Einstein was accurate in saying that it's all relative. To sum up, I will defer to Shakespeare who so eloquently phrased the work ahead of you, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."