What is the forgotten secret for progress? You first applied it unconsciously when you were an infant. You couldn’t utter a word yet. The adults around you seemed enthusiastic about something. Despite the lack of comprehension, you attained a major life transition. At a young age you went from being a crawler to a walker. As a toddler you gave up the security of being stable on hands and knees for standing upright. It came at a cost with bumps, tears and failures. Never the less the impelling urge told you to exchange a little suffering for your next evolution. Did you work it out yet? Your secret for progress was sacrifice.
The dictionary defines sacrifice “give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations”. One of my mentors taught me sacrifice means to give up something of value for something of greater value. Our trouble in habit change is that we want to keep all our old ways and forge new positive ones that are in direct opposition. The result is zero-sum gain. Not to mention emotionally depleting. I was reminded of this when I heard Bradley Cooper sing “Maybe It’s Time” in the 2018 movie A Star is Born. The depth of those words really struck a transformational chord. The truth sung solemnly “maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.”
Turns out this secret for progress applies to our financial status, relationship quality, living standards and other life arenas. In order to save towards a European vacation, you have to sacrifice a few nights out dining. To build a stronger relationship with your partner or child you may have to devote uninterrupted time in their face rather than in your Facebook. For a cleaner apartment you have to exchange a mediocre living standard for one of orderly cleanliness.
In certain tribal communities they still use a simple tactic to catch monkeys. They tie one end of string to a tree and the other to a hollowed-out coconut and place a tasty delicacy inside. Sure enough the monkey reaches in and grabs the treat. But its stubborn refusal to keep holding causes the monkey’s closed fist to get stuck. The open end is just enough for an open hand to pass freely.
Sacrifice is not a dirty word. However, if you prefer use the word exchange. The Latin origin of change means barter. Isn’t worth bartering a little couch comfort for a few pushups, situps and squats? What about exchanging a nightly Netflix season episode to acquire a new skill or language? The key to remember is the payoff for the sacrifice. For example when it comes to diet, you are not just giving up pizza for a poke bowl. More significantly, you are gaining a slimmer, energised and confident you. Those who succeed in sacrifice are more concerned with pleasing outcomes not pleasing methods. Why? Because the methods aren’t pleasing at the start or you would be onto them already.
The secret for progress requires you to think and act like a trapeze artist. Sacrifice the trapeze bar of one current limiting behaviour by letting go and stretching for the distant bar. Holding on has kept you were you are. Like the trapeze artist you need a little faith and sometimes there will be no safety net. In those times, pause and reflect. Remember that infant you once were who acted fearlessly without a safety net and only sought advancement.