Stop saying stupid stuff. This is unless you want a sure fire guarantee to perpetuate more of what you don’t want in your life. If that’s your preference - although I don’t see why it would be - then as you were. The principle is that you speak your world into being. The more you verbalise something the more it crystallises your reality. And we tend to act in a manner that is consistent with our inner reality whether factual or imaginary. In psychology this is called dissonance.
You may be astounded how crucial it is to speak your truth when it serves you. Furthermore, keeping affirmations in your head is a start but it’s only that. The rabbit hole goes deeper. Let’s explore this recommendation with an insightful study conducted by Christine Porath, professor at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business. Professor Porath found that when someone says something out loud, it’s ten times more potent than if they only think it. What was profound was the additional discovery that negative talk increases the power by factor of 4 to 7. In other words, if you vent negativity the force of your output can be up to 70 times more influential.
There is an attraction to drama that humans find difficulty to ignore. Just turn on the television or browse Netflix and you will see the plethora of reality shows and drama-infested series. All designed to engross you emotionally and spike your dopamine dependency. It’s no wonder then that people are subconsciously attracted to the work place and public bar gossips. And don’t be surprised if you reflect only to discover you’ve had your fair share of contributions. Whilst this is an insidious issue, the real problem is when we repeatedly complain and bemoan the unfavourable circumstances of our lives. Sure they are far from ideal, but why weaponise them by 70 times?
No wonder Trevor Moawad, mental conditioning coach for top level athletes says, “Stop saying stupid shit out loud”. Moawad refers to the aforementioned study. He knows in the world of athletic performance that everything counts and uses everything at his disposal to ensure his clients maintain peak states. Shouldn’t we take note or don't our results matter because we are not on the world stage? Shouldn’t you be a peak performer in your personal and professional life? Who cares about worldly popularity contests? Your family, friends and colleagues are your fans whether they rave or not. They are always watching and influenced by your conduct and character.
So why do we speak negatively? Well, there are several reasons but I prefer to get to the heart of the matter. It’s a habit. You told yourself a sob-story and sold yourself on it. You bought into victimhood and now you reenforce it with repeating the misfortunes thereby perpetuating more. You must take full ownership of your life, your feelings and the results you get. Now you are truly free because the ball is back in your court. You can return play under based on purposeful practice.
As Thumper the bunny said in the animated movie Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.” Now thumper didn’t have a degree in Applied Positive Psychology, but he knew a truth. What hurts us is not just what happens but what we say about it. So bit your lip, hold your tongue, zip it. Speak only of possibility and how you are taking a small step to turning things around. The world needs more ownership stories.